Go Easy on Yourself

It may seem so easy to take it easy but, it is never so easy to take it easy.

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

In case nobody told you today- You are doing great! It is easy to spend much of your days cursing yourself for past mistakes. Failed relationships,  flunked exams or bad business decisions, we persistently review all the things we did wrong and keep on thinking about the things we could have done right.

Stop Being So hard on Yourself

Once and for all stop being so hard on yourself. You are a human being and human beings make mistakes and moreover, we can not change the past. So what’s the point of relentlessly dwelling on it. So long as you don’t repeat the same blunder and learn from your past errors, you will be on the right track. Accept them and move on.

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You just need to learn the corresponding lessons you have learned from every mistake and the benefits that came into your life as a result of those so-called failures. So be gentler to yourself and see life for what it is: lifelong learning.

The following are some of the tips to go easy on yourself:

1. Breathe-In Breathe-Out

Before you do anything that is important to you, take a few seconds to breathe. Whenever I do this even just for a few seconds, it helps me approach my task with calm and focus, rather than with anxiety. I remember why I’m doing it and what’s the importance of it, and that helps me do it with ease, rather than all stressed out.

2. No “Multitasking”

Sometimes I feel that multitasking is a myth. We are actually switching our attention from task to task quickly, rather than doing everything at once. It makes more sense to focus on one thing at a time. It also helps our brains recharge because we’re going easier on them, even when the tasks themselves are stressful.

3. Take a Screen Break

It feels good to be connected. It makes us feel important like we’re part of things. While many of us must interact technologically for work, we don’t have to do it all the time. Purposely, set aside some time to ease yourself and let yourself focus on something else. Who knows, you may start noticing the tiny things around you.

4. An “Easy Day”

Give yourself an easy day, where nothing is urgent. Email doesn’t have to be checked. Deadlines don’t have to be met. No Meetings, No complaining, No ticking the things off the list, Nothing! Giving yourself this space reminds you that you are in control of your life, inspires you to choose what is and what is not, and offers you a chance to rest and rejuvenate yourself.

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5. Treat Yourself Better

If you find yourself pushing all the time and being hard on yourself, stop and ask if that is how you would treat your mother, your sibling, or your best friend. If the answer is no, figure out how you would treat them and proceed to treat yourself that way, too. Just treat yourself better and your life will become much easier. Sit down and have a cup of coffee, read once in a while, go for a walk in your favourite garden and relax!

6. Take Short Breaks

Even when you’re working hard, the work is important, and you need to get it done, stop working every 90 minutes. Take a short break; take a walk, go outside, stretch a little, hydrate yourself. This maintains your body’s natural rhythm, and even hard work seems easier when you’re not working against yourself.

7. Practice Self-love

While we may strive for perfection, the truth is that we are not perfect and we live in an imperfect world. Human beings make mistakes and that is fine. The important thing is to accept the mistake and learn from it. Instead of beating ourselves up over that, we can give ourselves compassion when we make mistakes or don’t meet our standards. If you find that you are criticizing yourself, take a deep breath and offer yourself mercy instead. Love yourself and say- “I am human. I am not going to be perfect and that’s okay, but I’m going to learn from it and I’ll not commit the same mistake again”

8. Hire a Househelp

Sometimes It is good to hire a person for work that is of the least priority rather than beating yourself up for that and ignoring the things of most priority. Hire some help and realize that some things don’t have to be your job.

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9. Give Yourself a Treat

Give yourself some alone time away from work and home where you can feel like yourself once again. Where there are no responsibilities, no priorities, no meetings, no deadlines, no phone calls, only you and your serenity. It will truly help you be relaxed and recharge.

10. Let It Go

When you find yourself stressing over trying to do well with a job that isn’t yours, let it go. I found it helpful to actually clench my hands and then unclench them (sometimes under a table or behind my back so no one could see!). Releasing these tasks will help you release the need to do them so well, and you will automatically begin going easier on yourself.

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Life truly is what you make it to be. The harder you are on yourself and the more you focus on perfection, the more miserable you are going to be. The more you learn to go easy on yourself and simply give your best effort, the more enjoyable life is going to be.

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here is an Amazon link to some of the books to make you feel relaxed . Do check it.